'I Slept With 370 Men'
A Nigerian sex addict based in UK, Seyi Kolade, has made a shocking revelation that she had slept with over 370 men, narrating that she began her sex exploit when she was 17 years old.
Seyi, 35, who resides in Birmingham, told TheSun of UK, that she was just 17 when she became dependent on sleeping with men every day. By 19 she had 40 partners and had bedded a shocking total of 370 men by the time she was in her 30s.
Her dangerous addiction led her to a life of destruction — catching sexually transmitted infections, being evicted from her home and having two terminations. Seyi claimed that she began to use sex to replace her feelings of loneliness when she met her then-boyfriend Paul, 31 at the age of 17 years.
“When I started having sex with my boyfriend I thought it was the answer and would stop me feeling so lonely. But it wasn’t enough,” She told TheSun
Seyi began to cheat on Paul at least once a week with strangers or men she met regularly, especially at bars.
She said: “I needed sex and afterwards it was a relief. When I couldn’t have sex my confidence would plummet, I felt ugly and went into a spiral of upset and frustration, feeling unworthy and needing another fix as soon as possible.”
Seyi fell pregnant at 17 with son, Andrew but was not sure who impregnated her because of her infidelities.
She said: “I told Paul it was his although there was some doubt in my mind. After I gave birth I tried to stay faithful. I wanted sex with him four to five times a day, but the attention from him wasn’t enough.
“When the pent-up sexual frustration became too much, I’d go elsewhere and get validation through sex. I cheated on him three times in six months, then fell pregnant again.”
Devastated and unable to look after another child, Seyi terminated her baby.
She said: “It wasn’t fair on the child to have him. I didn’t know whose baby it was so I didn’t tell Paul. I wanted our relationship to work but we split up when I was 19.”
Seyi’s heartbreak made her sex addiction go wild.
She said: “The only cure for my loneliness was sex. I had five guys I could meet with for sex when I wanted and was also sleeping with strangers. I’d go to bars and easily pick one up. Being good in bed made me feel worthy.”
By 22, Seyi had caught chlamydia twice. Going out almost every night while her children were looked after by friends and family, all she could think about was sex.
She said: “Between the ages of 22 to 30, life was a blur, my addiction had taken over. I was sleeping with five to six men, or meeting strangers for sex at bars weekly. I fell pregnant again at 26. I felt I had no choice but to have a termination. I got drunk and had sex after the procedure.
“I don’t know how I managed to keep my job as a management consultant. I took lots of sick days when I craved sex and couldn’t face the office. I even slept with a colleague.
“I was evicted for not paying rent when I was 29 and had to send my children to live with my family.”
While staying with a friend Seyi saw the documentary The Secret, about the laws of attraction which made her realized she needed help.
She said: “I knew I had a problem but never stopped to think about being a sex addict. I realised I needed help.”
Then 31, Seyi quit her job to concentrate on her recovery and began attending a sex addiction meeting.
She said: “There were six others there and when I listened to their stories it cured my nerves. I didn’t stop craving sex straight away but cut down slowly.”
Since August 2009 she has been celibate.
She said: “I’m so proud of myself. I’ve craved sex but the programme lets me know the trigger signs.
“I don’t plan on having sex any time soon. If the right guy comes along and I feel I’m in a stable, loving relationship, I’d feel safe to do it. I have my children back living with me and feel I’m no longer a sex addict.
“I’d hate to think where my life would be now if I hadn’t sought help.”
Despite her recovery, Seyi lives with the guilt of her addiction.
She said: “I could have passed on STIs, I had two terminations and my kids didn’t have the attention they deserved.
“I’ve now trained as an inspirational speaker and happiness advocate. At workshops and seminars I can help others understand what sex addiction is, where it comes from and recovery.
“Being celibate has given me my life back. I want to help others do the same.”